We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
