She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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