DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
