why didn't you poke me back
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
