omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
