Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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