Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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