Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
