Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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