I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
