Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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