Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
