That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it was like his penis was on wheels.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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