Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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