I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
