on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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