i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
