Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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