did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
