i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she woke up with a sticky ear
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
