At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
