Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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