You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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