Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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