So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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