apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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