This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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