that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize