As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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