Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
