Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
