DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
