mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
where am i from again
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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