I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I look better un-naked...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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