She is in my trunk
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sext me about skeletons
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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