toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
