I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
