Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize