Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
