Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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