just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it was like eating out sand paper
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
