i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Quick, to the slutcave!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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