Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
