Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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