DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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