i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Randomize