The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
