I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
