And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
