It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
