if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
