i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
