at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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