Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
