I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
