it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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