Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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