it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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