he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
