I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize