We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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