please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize