After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
