Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
