how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
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